


Nothing Left (To Talk About)

by raths_kitten



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Community: spn_j2_xmas, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-30
Updated: 2013-06-30
Packaged: 2017-12-16 14:46:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/863226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raths_kitten/pseuds/raths_kitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Supernatural is over. Jensen doesn’t take it well. Danneel helps him realize why.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nothing Left (To Talk About)

**Author's Note:**

> Pinch-hit for [](http://wutendeskind.livejournal.com/profile)[**wutendeskind**](http://wutendeskind.livejournal.com/) at [](http://spn-j2-xmas.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://spn-j2-xmas.livejournal.com/)**spn_j2_xmas**.

“Alright, Jensen. I’ve had quite enough of this now.“ Danneel didn’t even bother with a greeting. She just let herself in and slammed the scripts down on the coffee table in front of Jensen, not caring that she was knocking over various bowls of junk food and quite a few empty bottles of beer.

“What?” Jensen paused whatever he was watching and looked up at her blankly. “What are those?”

“Your scripts, Jensen.” Danneel raised her eyebrows. “Your agent’s been sending them to me now, to pass on to you. Because not only are you not reading them, no, apparently you’re stupid enough to refuse to accept your damn mail.”

“Just mail from her.” Jensen shrugged. “It’s a sign.”

”A sign of what? Your insanity?” Danneel threw her hands up in frustration.

Jensen frowned. “No. A sign for her to stop the fuck bothering me right now. I told her I needed a break.”

“But Jensen, honey…” Danneel sighed. “Think about this. It’s your career you’re throwing away here.”

Jensen snorted, then he got angry. “Listen, I’ve been working 24/7 for the past seven years, holed up there in Canada, shooting, shooting, doing nothing but shoot the damn show. Don’t I deserve a little break here? It’s only been two month since we wrapped.”

Danneel deflated and flopped down on the couch next to him. “I know, baby.” She stroked his cheek. Jensen flinched. Just a little. But she noticed. And chose to ignore it. “I know you’ve worked hard. And yes, you do deserve a break. But why can’t you just pile them up in a corner for when you feel better? Or throw them away if you want to, just… don’t let them be send to me, dammit!”

Jensen grunted. “So what’s the big deal? Why don’t you just throw them away?”

Danneel looked away with a shrug. “They’re yours,” she explained in a soft voice.

“Dani?” Jensen nudged her softly. “What’s wrong?”

”Nothing.” She shrugged again but refused to meet his eyes.

“Tell me,” Jensen insisted.

“I… I didn’t know they were yours. At first.” She sighed. “And I read one. And kinda… liked it.” Jensen wrapped his arm around her and she leaned against him. “And I was happy to be considered, so I called my agent…”

Jensen closed his eyes and bit back a curse. “I’m sorry.” He kissed her temple. “They should take you. Have you asked to get into audition?”

“They don’t want me, they want you.” Danneel burrowed deeper against him, inhaling his scent. Then she scooted away again, her nose wrinkled. But again, she chose to ignore it.

“Yeah, but have you…” Jensen wouldn’t let it go.

“Yes.” Danneel snapped.

Jensen nodded knowingly and stroked her arm. “You’ll get a better script. Just for you.”

“Oh yeah?” Danneel poked him. “And you’re gonna write it?”

“If I have to, I will.” Jensen smiled at her. “And I’m gonna direct it, too. You know, I hear you’ll be in every scene if you’re nice to your director.”

Danneel laughed. “Oh, shut up. You’d have to get off this couch first though.” She poked him again coaxing a chuckle out of him. Then she turned her attention towards the screen. “Alright, what are we…” She stopped dead. “Don’t tell me you’re on your third Gilmore Girls marathon.”

“I happen to like that show.” Nevertheless, Jensen looked embarrassed.

“Uhuh.” Danneel glanced up at him.

“No, really. Lorelai is such a great character. I love her relationship with that Luke guy.” Jensen waved his hand towards the screen, where indeed Luke and Lorelai were flirting in Luke’s Diner.

“So tell me, Jensen, how’d you like the ending?”

Jensen flushed. “I don’t watch past season five. It’s just crap after season five.”

“Hm.” Danneel clucked her tongue. “I wonder why that is.”

“Changed writers or something.” Jensen shrugged, remote control in his hand. But just as he was about to press play, Danneel snatched it away from him.

“Call him,” was all she said.

“What? Who?”

Danneel whacked him over the head with the remote control.

“Ow!” Jensen rubbed his now sore spot.

”Call him, you idiot.”

“No.” Jensen crossed his arms in front of his chest. “I’m glad to be rid of him. Seven years was enough. Maybe we can meet again for a beer in a few more weeks, but for now I’m just so happy to not having to smell to his farts anymore.”

“Or listen to his stupid jokes, or get mauled by his rabid dogs, or have to see his ugly face anymore.” Danneel counted off. “Or so you tell me. Daily.”

”’Cause it’s true.” Jensen huffed.

“That’s why you made me watch House of Wax again last night?” Danneel pointed at the DVDs strewn across Jensen’s floor, House of Wax right next to Friday 13th and Cry Wolf. And Thomas Kinkade’s A Christmas Cottage probably hidden somewhere in the back.

“I like Paris. Ever since she was on the show, we’re like this.” He crossed his fingers in the universal tight sign but even Jensen had to smirk at it, admitting his lie as he told it. He sighed. “Alright.” He passed a hand over his face. “But he can call me, too.”

“But he does. You never pick up your damn phone.” Danneel glanced knowingly in the direction of his blinking answering machine.

“How do you know? Is he calling you now as well?” Jensen looked slightly panicked for a second.

“No, but Gen does.” Jensen looked interested, so Danneel went on. “And according to her, he’s a just as miserable, moping, useless fuck as you are.”

“She said that?” Not hearing the insult in it, Jensen perked up.

“It’s why she moved out two weeks ago.”

Jensen was unable to hide his true feelings at that. “She did? But they were gonna…”

”No,” Danneel shook her head.

“But he was… he signed on for a movie up in Canada. Right away.” Jensen frowned.

“Dropped out.” Danneel explained. “Said he was burned out and needed a break. Sound familiar to you?”

”But why hasn’t he called?” Jensen’s voice had a desperate whine to it.

“He did, you moron.”

“Yes, but… but he never said anything. He just left short ‘how you doing’ and ‘call me’s.” Jensen glanced towards his answering machine as well. “Why didn’t he say anything?”

”Maybe because that’s not something you tell a box?” She suggested.

Jensen let out a frustrated whine and then buried his face in his hands.

Danneel wrapped her arms around him and planted a soft kiss in his hair. It was a lot longer already, because he hadn’t gotten a haircut since before they wrapped. “Jensen…” She started, then took a deep breath. “You know I love you, right?“ She didn’t give him time to reply. “Just like I know you love me. I know you do. But we’ve been friends long before this started and we’ll still be friends when this is over.”

Jensen stirred, surprised, but Danneel shushed him.

“You’re the one constant great thing in my life, and I don’t want this to ever change.” She kissed him again, catching his temple now. “But I want you to be happy, baby. And we both know you’re not happy right now.”

“No, I…” Jensen wrestled out of her grasp and shook his head. “I… I am…” He closed his eyes. “I… will be again. I promise. I just… need a few more weeks and then…”

Now it was Danneel’s turn to shake her head. “You don’t need a few more weeks. What you need is Jared.”

“No, I…” Jensen wanted to protest again, but Danneel held up her hand.

“Don’t insult me by pretending I am wrong. This is hard enough for me as it is.” She turned away.

Swallowing hard, Jensen bit back every response he had. Instead he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her in again. “You make me happy.” Her mouth opened, but Jensen insisted. “You do.”

Danneel smiled sadly. “But Jared makes you… I dunno, but he makes you alive. He got you out of your shell in ways I never could. Your eyes always light up when you see him, even now, when it’s just those damn DVDs.”

“And they don’t light up for you?” Jensen frowned.

“It’s not the same.” She looked up at him and stroked his cheek. “I love you, Jensen. I always will. But if you don’t pull your head out of your ass and admit that you want Jared, I will hurt you.”

Jensen leaned into her touch, closing his eyes again. Then, ever so slightly, he nodded. “You do make me happy though.”

“Damn straight I do.” She gave him a smack on his lips and started to rise.

“Dani, wait!” Jensen grabbed her hand to keep her from leaving. “Stay the night?”

She took a long look down at him, then shrugged and flopped back down. “Alright. But we’re gonna watch the episodes with Milo. I want something to ogle as well.”

Jensen snorted, but dutifully got up to change DVDs. When he sat back down next to her, she pulled off her shoes and pulled up her legs, snuggling close to him. He wrapped his arm around her and started playing with her hair after he’d hit play. “Milo? Really?”

Danneel chuckled. “Oh, yes.”

Jensen let out another snort but otherwise chose to keep his comments to himself. They quietly watched the show, comfortable being close to each other. While he continued to roll up strands of her hair, she started to toy with the fingers of his left hand. By the time Jared was on screen, Jensen was relaxed enough to admit that she was right. “I miss him,” he simply said.

Danneel raised her eyebrow and caught his eyes. Then she rolled hers. They spend the rest of the night commenting on the characters and occasionally pointing out camera techniques or well-placed and botched cuts. Jensen didn’t say a word about Jared anymore and neither did Danneel. Although she occasionally dropped comments on Milo’s physique or his hair, touching Jensen’s in turn to rile him up. But it was all in good fun.

*

The next morning, Jensen woke up still on the couch, covered by a blanket. His living room was tidied up and there was a letter waiting for him on his table, right next to a bottle of aspirin and a glass of water. He smiled and opened the letter, frowning when the first thing that fell out was Danneel’s engagement ring. It also contained a plane ticket along with a yellow post-it stuck to it simply reading “GO!” He turned it around on a hunch, and on the back she’d scribbled. “Don’t make me come back here and kick your ass, you moron. Love, D.”

Smiling fondly, he flopped back on the couch and took a deep breath. Just as he was reaching for the aspirin, his doorbell rang and he got up in confusion. It was Kane.

“You ready?” He asked. “Dani called, telling me to come drive you to the airport. Cuff and drag you, if I had to. You wanna tell me what that’s all about?”

Jensen blinked. “I’ll explain on the drive. When we leaving?”

Kane glanced at his watch. “Five minutes ago?”

”What?” Jensen took his time to read the plane ticket, noticing the take-off. “Fuck! Give me fifteen to pack.”

Kane nodded and stepped into the apartment, then he wrinkled his nose. “Shit, you better spend those under a shower or they won’t even let you check-in. You reek like you’ve been living in those clothes for the past two months.”

Jensen blushed and discreetly sniffed himself.

”Please tell me you didn’t actually live in those clothes? I heard it was bad, but not like this. Danneel’s a saint to still hang out around you miserable slob.” Kane passed a hand through his long hair.

“Yes, she is.” Jensen paused on his way to the bathroom. “But no, I did not live in those clothes, you asshole.” He pulled off his shirt and threw it in the general direction of the couch. “Can you just pack me some stuff? You know where everything is.” And with that Jensen was off, leaving Kane behind.

*

The plane was rolling towards the gangway in Vancouver and Jensen stretched his body as much as possible in the narrow space. The quick shower didn’t help much and by now he felt like the miserable slob Kane had accused him of being. One clear-headed look into the bathroom mirror had confirmed as much. Uncut hair sticking all over the place, shaggy beard, sunken, hollow eyes. And the rush to the airport and being crammed into this plane for hours left him feeling unclean again.

So when he first caught glimpse of Jared waiting for him in the airport lobby, he felt downright ashamed and unprepared and was ready to just turn around again. Call this a big mistake, go back home, get his shit in order and then maybe come back up here. Maybe.

But it only took a few seconds for him to realize Jared’s shaggy hair and the unusual sunglasses on his nose, hiding his eyes. He sorta looked slimmer, too. Or well, less buff. Like he hasn’t had a proper work-out in weeks. And Gen probably hadn’t been feeding him right, either. He was freshly shaven though and Jensen touched his scruff self-consciously.

Then Jared spotted him, and all of Jensen’s thoughts just disappeared. Jared took off his sunglasses, his eyes lighting up as he took in Jensen and Jensen’s whole body started tingling all over. He fastened his pace and Jared met him halfway. Jensen barely had time to drop his bag before he was encompassed in a huge bear hug, crushed to Jared’s chest so hard he could barely breath. But even though he should feel like he was suffocating any second, all he could feel was safe. Happy. Finally truly happy again.

He clung to Jared for the longest time and Jared didn’t let go either, neither of them talking. Jensen took a deep breath, getting a whiff of the usual Padalecki smell. Faint deodorant, underlying dog, soap, sweat. Jared. Only Jared smelled this way. Jensen closed his eyes, just relishing in the moment.

Eventually they let go of each other, Jared sheepishly scratching the back of his head while Jensen was looking down at the ground.

“So, welcome.” Jared picked up Jensen’s bag before Jensen could move. “Didn’t know you were coming until an hour ago though,” he gave him an accusatory glance. “So, uhm, the housekeeper threw a party last night and then up and quit on me, so the place is kinda a mess.”

Jensen frowned. “Since when do you have a housekeeper? And why the fuck would they throw a party in you…” He stopped, realized Jared’s guilty look, thought of his own place and nodded. “That sucks, man.”

“Tell me about it.” Jared smiled briefly, then he patted Jensen on the back. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming? Why didn’t you call?”

“Didn’t know I was coming either. Danneel kinda threw me out.” Jensen shrugged.

“Of your own apartment?”

“Uhm, yeah.” Jensen shrugged. “Long story.”

“Huh.” Jared glanced at him. “So, Danneel and you…?”

”We broke up.” Jensen thought about it. “Sorta. I think?”

”Sorta, you think?” Jared frowned.

“No it’s…” He hesitated. “It’s over. Roman… sexually. The sex is over. But not sure if we actually just broke up. It’s sorta just happened, you know? Long term un-sexing. Like marriage.”

Jared looked at him for a moment, doubtful, then he made a face. “Yeah, I guess I know what you mean.”

”So, you and Gen…?” Jensen hedged.

They’d reached the car by now and Jared waited until they were both inside to reply. “Over. It was more of a, uhm, sudden ugly kinda thing though.”

“Oh.” Jensen cringed. “So where’s she off to now?”

”Cabo.” Jared glanced at him. “You don’t know?”

”What?” Jensen frowned. Grated he could have asked Dani, but why would he really care? “Why should I?”

”She’s in Cabo with Danneel.” Jared raised his eyebrow. “I thought that’s why you were coming. To distract yourself from being lonely while she takes care of Gen.”

“Oh.” Jensen blinked. “She told you that?”

“She didn’t tell me anything, just to pick you up and have fun. And not to worry about Genevieve.”

“I see.” Jensen wasn’t sure if he should be angry or relieved. Actually, he was disappointed. And now more anxious than ever. They didn’t really talk anymore for the whole rest of the drive, even though there was a lot to talk about. Everyday stuff. Projects. Reminisce past pranks. Anything. But somehow neither of them started. Awkward silence. This had never happened to them.

Once inside the house, Jared dumped Jensen’s bag and before he could take a step in further, Jared broke the silence and was crowding him. “Why are you here, Jensen?”

”I… I…” His gaze flew from Jared’s eyes to the ground and back again a few times. Jared’s gaze was intense. It gave him a clear message and he should take it as a good sign and just go with it, but it also scared the hell out of him. Once they took this step, there was no going back. Not ever. This wasn’t like with Danneel, when they could just go back to being friends with a snap of their fingers. This was. Everything. All or nothing.

“Jensen.” Jared’s soft tone finally made Jensen look up and hold his gaze, reading the signs. Reading the signs loud and clear. Jared was hungry, anxious, feral. But he was also deeply troubled, doubtful and afraid. It was in there, etched into the lines of his face, the slight frown, the quiver of his lips, his dilated pupils. And Jensen imagined he must look just about the same right now.

So, really, he just went with it. Took a step forward, clearly into Jared’s space, took another deep breath, then his hands flew up, pulling Jared down to him by his tangly mess, and then their lips met and they were kissing.

And they didn’t waste any more time. The kiss was deep and dirty, tongues battling, teeth clashing. Their bodies glued together, both of them were rutting against each other like they’d never done anything else.

And when they came up for breath only to delve right back into the kiss, their clothes disappearing as they made their way into the bedroom, neither of them quite sure what was happening, how this was happening, why it felt so right, Jensen had a sudden, quick burst of sanity, realizing that yes, this. This was it. This was everything. But before he could wonder why the fucking fuck they had wasted seven god damn years not once doing this, his mind went blank again and all he could do was touch, taste, smell. Move against Jared and move with him, both of them a perfect unity.

There was still a whole lot left unsaid and unresolved, but somehow, neither of them gave a damn. Because for the first time in seven years, they really didn’t want to talk to each other. Unless you counted grunts and moans and whispered praise and dirty promises. But now, really. That didn’t count, did it?  



End file.
